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Я таки сходила на ту лекцию и не пожалела. Ее рекламировали, как спеца по детской психологии, которая выпустила много книжек, выступала на шоу Опры. Мне было интересно узнать о советах воспитания именно американского специалиста, так как американский стиль воспитания отличается от русского и совсем диаметрально противоположен азиатско-тигровому стилю. Тетенька приятно удивила.

Итак, она настоятельно советовала (из тех, кто меня иногда почитывает, кажется, все понимают английский. Ксюш, если вдруг тебе интересно, я могу перевести). Вобщем:
1. Set high expectations to your kids. Always adjust them an inch higher
2. Instill good work ethics in your kids - firm knowledge that if they work hard, outcome will be good most of the time. And on the contrary, if they don't work hard, outcome will be bad most of the time.
3. Teach them "competitive resilience" - ability to win\loose (unfortunately, she didn't have time to elaborate on how to achieve it)
4. Appropriate curriculum. If school doesn't challenge, its your job as a parent to challenge them.
5. Peer environment is very important (especially in middle\high school). Go extra mile to adjust their environment.
6. United parenting front (mom and dad should share the same vision, adjust their differences and act accordingly)
7. Parent advocacy in schools, act, engage in your child's school
8. Role models for your kids are extremely important, either find or become one. It's important what you say about life since they are always listening and absorbing even when you think they are not.
9. Maintain a reasonable balance between achievement and social life (that's what most of the parents of overachievers do not do in my humble opinion)
10. Be firm as a parent. A firm parent gives a child a sense of security.
11. Words have a lot of power. Call a kid "shy" 50 times, he'll become shy. Parents have a lot of power in this sense.
12. Kids do not appreciate what parents do for them. Thus, don't make kids your project. Have more in your live then just kids, have a career, interests, hobbies. Eventually, 99% of the kids will say that their parents could make it better in terms of parenting no matter what you did or how far you went.
13. Don't overpraise (american parents overpraise all the time). Over empowered kids at home become underachievers in life.
14. Teach them that their main goal is not to win, but to improve their skill.
15. V style parenting. Start at the bottom go to the top. As they grow, they should have more freedom, more choices in their life, not the other way around.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
ksyusa2012
Oct. 21st, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
Не ну ладно)) вообще-то я тоже англ помню)) что не помню - там гугл в помощь ;)
мне 14 пункт понра....прям как избежать комплекса отличника.
ukrainianka
Oct. 21st, 2012 11:07 pm (UTC)
Ага. С другой стороны, победа иногда может быть не целью, а средством передвижение к чему-то более интересному.
ksyusa2012
Oct. 22nd, 2012 05:05 am (UTC)
Ну я бы вообще не ориентировалась именно на победу....лучше наслаждаться процессом, а победа будет следствием.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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